How to Avoid Future Cringe

Is it possible to save yourself from bad outfits?

As you look back and reflect on the year, scrolling through the photos on your phone and the ones you posted to your Instagram feed, you’re probably thinking to yourself: What was I thinking?? I am.

Thanks to social media and our need to document every single inch of our lives, it’s possible to feel a near-constant sense of embarrassment. I even feel ashamed of outfits I wore as recently as last week. But is there any way to save yourself from your future self? Looking ahead at 2024, I’m wondering if there are any preventative measures I can take to avoid the dreaded “future cringe.”

Of course, the obvious solution is to sit down and shut the f*ck up. If you don’t put yourself out there, you’re less likely to make a fool of yourself. But, unfortunately for both of us, I don’t really want to do that. My chosen profession dictates that I simply *must* take mirror selfies and share them with the world.

Another option is to play it safe. I’ve been thinking a lot about something Sofia Richie said about her wedding look, which took up way too much space in my brain this year. "I just want it to feel timeless," she told Vogue about her make-up. "And I do not want to look back in 20 years and be like, she’s a glamazon.” In general, the 24-year-old bride seemed keen on smoothing over her Kardashian-adjacent past, and presenting herself as mature and sophisticated.

sofiarichiegrainge

A post shared by @sofiarichiegrainge

“Timeless” is a word we heard a lot this year, specifically on the subject of “quiet luxury” and “stealth wealth” — a style that Sofia Richie has worked hard to become the poster child for. As someone who lived out their most embarrassing years in the spotlight, she’s well aware of time’s cruelty, and I don’t blame her for trying to protect herself from it. But I’m not sure any person or thing is ever truly “timeless.” Also, isn’t living in the moment half the fun of being young and alive?? Personally, I’d much rather be called a “glamazon” than “timeless.” The latter is like the fashion equivalent of calling someone “nice.”

When I think about “timeless” style icons, none of them are people who seemed to consciously set out to look timeless in their time. Do you think someone like Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, whom Sofia Richie said she was inspired by for her wedding, sat around thinking, God, I hope nobody calls me a ‘glamazon’ in 20 years? I don’t. To permanently etch yourself in fashion history, you have to ignore what other people think and do exactly what you want.

This brings me to The Shop Rat Law of Criconics, which dictates that in order to be iconic, you also have to be somewhat cringe. (Exhibit a: Cher.) That may sound like an excerpt from Taylor Swift’s NYU graduation speech, but hey, the woman knows how to get people talking. Other criconic style moments of 2023 include: Jenna Lyons on Real Housewives, the crop tops in Passages, and Lenny Kravitz. Period. The David Beckham documentary also served as a reminder of the least-timeless, most criconic wedding of all time.

The Shop Rat Law of Criconics.

After making it through the time warp of the last few years, I’m actually sort of enjoying embarrassing myself at such a steady clip again. Of course, it’s important to have a healthy dose of *shame* in your life, but it’s a good thing to be able to look back and say, God, not wearing pants like Kendall Jenner was so cringe because it means you’re really living. Or, at least, you’re moving forward.

So, instead of archiving that outfit photo you posted with the cringey caption that makes you want to crawl under a rock, take a moment to pat yourself on the back for not being boring like Sofia Richie. This year was weird; you simply rose to the occasion.