Last summer, Lily Sullivan had eight weddings to attend, each with 2-3 days of events. “I didn't want to repeat outfits if I didn't have to, which is so stupid because men wear the same suit to every single fucking thing,” she says. “But I also knew I couldn’t buy 16 new pieces.” So she decided to shop her own closet, making a spreadsheet of every sort-of-wedding-appropriate look she already owned, attaching photos and recording the date of last wear.
The “Gown Library,” as she calls it, was just meant to be for her own records—a way to stay organized and keep track of what to wear and when. She was inspired by her late mother, a meticulous (and very stylish) clothes hoarder who mapped out her own archive before she died. When a friend needed a dress for a wedding, though, Lily was like, well, look at this list and see. “They were like, this is the most insane thing I've ever seen,” Lily recalls with a laugh.
Now, she finds herself sending the spreadsheet to a friend at least once a month. They’ll come over to her Brooklyn apartment and try stuff on. Lily, who writes an interior design-slash-dating newsletter called “Love and Other Rugs,” will put out a wine and cheese spread. Almost always, her visitors will walk away with something to wear, free of charge. All she asks is that you dry clean it and send it back to her when you’re done.
Earlier this summer, I dropped by Lily’s apartment to see her collection for myself. (Through this exercise, we discovered that we are basically neighbors.) I think her exchange program is such a good idea and something more friends can and should be doing. Having attended enough weddings to boast an entire gown library, I also figured that Lily knows a thing or two about how to shop for them and might have some sage wisdom to share.
My first question is: Are all her friends magically her size?? “I'm between a size 2 and a size 8, and some of the dresses are stretchy, and some of them are tight on me,” she explains. So, there’s a range. As we go through her rack together, this becomes clear. She pulls out her “Love Island contestant dress,” which is a slinky black sequined number from Self-Portrait, plus an elegant Armani dress from Chickee’s Vintage that is maybe a little too close to the color white. ("I'd have to get a spray tan and know the bride really well.”) There’s also an orange ASOS dress that came up when she Googled “big sleeve low v,” an oxblood leather Proenza Schouler dress, and a “hot night-before dress” from The Great Eros.
The prices range from steal to splurge. There’s a “very nipple-y” dress that she got for $12 at an estate sale, a Zara dress “that looks like Khaite," plus one that practically “bankrupted her in Munich.” Her closet also reflects her travels: you’ll find gowns from San Francisco, Morocco, and Paris.
A lot of collectors, myself included, might get nervous or envious seeing their precious pieces on other people, but Lily loves it. Some of her gowns have even left the archive permanently because she thinks they look better on friends. “If I'm not wearing something, it's just collecting dust,” she says. “So if someone else can give it another life, that's so fun.”
Lily’s Wedding Guest Shopping Advice
Always be shopping. “If you find something that fits, you will find an occasion for the dress,” she says. Don’t wait until the last minute. “It's always when you're looking for a dress for an occasion that nothing fits, nothing's right, nothing's in season, etc. So I just accumulate, accumulate, accumulate.” She goes especially hard during sale season. The library features two dresses from the recent Mara Hoffman closing sale, a Wales Bonner dress from the Outline archive sale, plus Paris Georgia and Simon Miller dresses that were discounted on SSENSE.
Be comfortable. “I sometimes go for things that are maybe a little too small or a little too tight or need more maintenance, and the dresses that I love most from this collection are the ones that I'm totally comfortable running around in,” she says. This goes for shoes as well. Unless you can bring an extra pair, “wear the shoes that you're going to end the night in.”
Bring safety pins. “Someone's dress will always break.”
And boob tape. “You need to make sure you're not flashing someone's grandma.”
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NEXT TIME: Dispatches from my recent travels!
Honored !
This was such a good read. I can only DREAM of being this organized!!