Do This Instead of Spring Cleaning

Why I prefer a twice-annual Dress-Up Day.

In New York, we are in the middle of a season you might call “Spring of Deception,” or a warm, sunny period around Daylight Savings that gives everyone the false hope that their depression is cured and they can put away their puffer jackets. Next week, temperatures will drop again, and we will enter Third Winter. So it’s not time to pull out your flip-flops just yet. But wherever you are, it is a good moment to take stock of what’s in your closet and plot your next move.

Most people will see this as an opportunity to do some spring cleaning. Makes sense! You’ve filed your 2023 taxes, and you just want to put the last year behind you. Who will you be when you finally emerge from hibernation? And most importantly, will you be HOT?? Instead of changing your identity and bringing half your wardrobe to Beacon’s Closet, though, I’d like to suggest another option: DO A DRESS-UP DAY.

At least twice a year, I block off an entire afternoon to try on every single thing in my closet. It’s a way to remind myself what I own, which is too much, and become reacquainted with the pieces I’ve neglected. So, rather than say, I never wear this dress, goodbye, I ask, why not? Could I style it differently? Do I need to get it tailored? Of course, some stuff will get tossed in a giveaway pile. But in general, I think spring cleaning is just a way to make yourself feel better about buying more; a dress-up day forces you to make what you already have work.

How to Do a Dress-Up Day

• Clear your schedule.

• Clean your mirror.

• Do *not* put on deodorant; you will get it everywhere.

• Brace yourself for a big mess.

I started my Dress Up Day with a black Theory jumpsuit that I bought maybe two years ago and have worn zero times since. Why? I hate the neckline. It’s too corporate yet somehow also inappropriate for work. So I threw a sweater over my shoulders (yes, I got the &Daughter one leave me alone) and put on some more casual shoes. Problem solved!

Oops, I forgot I own this Rachel Comey jumpsuit too… Noted!!!

Next, we have this Prada dress that I tried on at the Dover Street Market sample sale, didn’t buy, regretted not buying, and then found on eBay later for the same price. I got it tailored in the chest area, but it’s still a little long. A belt helps make it look more “Prada” — I got this Isabel Marant one forever ago and it’s the best — plus some nylon Wolford socks. (Falke makes the same ones for half the price.)

For some reason, I got really into vintage blazers this year, but I haven’t figured out how to wear them yet. The Armani one on the left is good for restaurant pajamas, but it’s still a bit too oversized on me. What if I wore it as a dress?! Ah-ha! The Norma Kamali one on the right also works perfectly with my Our Legacy mini-skirt. Thumbs up.

While doing this exercise, I realized that I own a lot of high-waisted bottoms, which I think look better with cropped tops than long blazers or button-ups. I decided that I “needed” a good bolero to go with them, so I got this Miu Miu one on the RealReal. (The one I’m wearing in the above photos is vintage Agnes B. from Ending Soon.) I could also use a good bandeau top that isn’t basic. And maybe a pair of high-waisted shorts…? BUT THAT’S IT.

Guys, if I buy another black dress PUT ME IN SUBSTACK JAIL. It’s good to be reminded that I have a problem because I’ve already bookmarked three other black dresses for spring. NO. Instead of buying any more clothes, I should just invest in fun accessories like bags and jewelry to spruce up all these boring LBDs.

Also, the ladybug population is going to send me a cease and desist any day now…

Moving right along... The Deiji Studios black dress on the right needs to be shortened by about three inches, I think. The Prada skirt on the right, though? I’m going to leave it. I like that it sits on my hips.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I need to find an occasion to wear this Helmut Lang fringe top I bought during the Great Firesale of 2020. I’ve never worn it, but I’m also never getting rid of it.

Happy Spring of Deception!

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NEXT TIME: I finally transcribed that interview I’ve been teasing for weeks.