Some Self Repair
Learning to sit still.
My friends refer to the period between Christmas and New Year’s as “The Liminal Space.” It’s a fake work week (or two). Slack and email are dead. There’s nothing to be done and nothing you can do. They love it. But it drives me nuts.
I have a hard time sitting still. Instead of talking about my resolution to do X, Y, and Z, I want to just do X, Y, and Z. I want to add events to my iCal and write in my new planner (!) with my new pens (!). I do not want to circle back.
“I think this is good for you,” said Jess. There were only a few days left of 2025, and I was getting antsy. I wanted to get 👏 the 👏 ball 👏 rolling, I said, smacking my fist into the palm of my hand for emphasis. We were at a small bar, and people glanced over at us. She told me that I needed to learn to embrace the Liminal Space. I needed to close my laptop and chill.
Freelancing has made me addicted to forward motion. Sitting still can feel like failure. Will anyone ever email me again?? No matter how well I did a month, week, or day prior, downtime makes me anxious, so I keep moving.
This is partly because I love my job and don’t want to stop doing it. It’s fun! And I’m excited about the year ahead. But I also need to do less. Working for myself means that I’m always working, even on vacation, which, apparently, I’m always on.
This is all to say: I took some actual time off, and now I am back! I wrote the last two letters before I left for Mexico last week, which allowed me to schedule them and properly power down. So far, I’ve resisted the urge to over-commit. Maybe now I’ll have time to knit myself a scarf.
Below is a recap of my time away, along with everything I read, watched, and wore.
What I Wore to Do Nothing
Baby’s first Auberge!!! 🤪 I was invited to stay for a few nights at Susurros del Corazón, the hotel group’s relatively new, beachside resort in Punta de Mita, Mexico. When I got the email, I was so excited. (See, this is why I love email!) I’d never stayed at an Auberge before, and only knew the name for being associated with the best of the best. The crème de la crème. I assumed the group was French—maybe owned by LVMH or something—because all nice things are European. But turns out Auberge is actually an American company founded in Napa Valley, with many of its properties located in the United States.
Auberge’s flavor of luxury is all about the little details. After a few days, I started writing down everything I noticed in my phone. The fridge in the room didn’t hum. Instead of a Nespresso machine in a closet, fresh Mexican coffee, brewed with cinnamon, was set outside our room every morning. At the beach and the pool, I never had to adjust my own umbrella, and every day, guests were given some sort of small surprise treat, like a fruit popsicle. (No matter how much money you have, nothing tastes better than free.)
It was one of the nicest vacations I’ve ever been on and probably the closest I’ll ever get to life at the White Lotus. The people watching was top-notch. Every woman wore a ludicrously capacious beach hat. I essentially packed beach pajamas, but I think my bug-eyed Prada sunglasses made me look like I belonged.
What I Wore Before and After Vacation
I’ve been looking for a pair of comfy white jeans to wear with the white &Daughter sweater I got on sale. I like these Madewell ones because they’re nice and stretchy. While browsing, I ended up on Sézane’s website after someone I follow mentioned liking their denim. (Alison Roman also once told me she loves their shirts.) I’ve never purchased anything from the brand before, but I found some perfect pieces for a future France vacation that I swear I haven’t planned yet… Like this sweater. It seems like good quality for a good price.
Clémence Polès Farhang also came over and photographed me with some Esha Soni bags. My personal favorite is the Slope. A work of art! For her website, Esha asked me some thoughtful questions, and I told her where my love of the color red comes from.
Articles I Read
In her second opinion essay for the NYTimes, fashion writer Robin Givhan says shopping today is an “abyss of blah.” I don’t totally disagree with her argument, but I think we need to move beyond blaming “the algorithm” for everything. Personally, social media has introduced me to lots of great brands and stores.
Rama Duwaji is just like us: she has a Google Maps for thrift stores. I loved hearing her voice in this gorgeous Cut feature, written by Danya Issawi. I also loved reading a recap from her stylist, Gabriella Karefa-Johnson on Substack after the inauguration.
I wanted to like this dispatch from RollieFest (incredible name), but I thought it was too mean and too long. Easy target.
My mom wants to visit the apron museum. Shop Rat team trip to Mississippi?
Diane Von Furstenberg says she owns hundreds of Eres swimsuits and thousands of pairs of Wolford tights. “Do they hold up? Yes, until you make holes,” she said of the latter. Hm. So, no? She also writes in a Hermès leather diary on Hermès paper.
Lena Dunham shares her favorite secondhand search terms. “The RealReal is your friend with a sleek middle part and an expensive espresso machine, Vestiaire did coke and can’t make it to brunch and Depop is so liberal she somehow came back around to being conservative. Whereas eBay is your intense, single aunt and Etsy is a tattooed nurse from Olympia, Washington.”
Walking around Brooklyn last week, I saw so many empty storefronts. Roughly 8,400 businesses closed in the second quarter of 2025, the NYTimes reports, creating the largest net decline in business activity since before the pandemic. Here’s why.
Books I Read
My book club that started with The Wager (and everything else by David Grann), then moved on to The Snakehead by Patrick Radden Keefe, has now broadened its horizons with A Marriage At Sea by Sophie Elmhirst. The book was blurbed by PRK, and is still about a shipwreck, but let’s just say it offers a different perspective… I thought it was great. Incredible story, crushable, and made me cry by the pool. I’ve now moved on to The Gales of November, which is about the Edmund Fitzgerald. (Lakes are crazy!) Next, I want to read this.
To better understand my newfound passion for crosswords, I picked up Across the Universe by Natan Last. I was afraid it would be too heady for vacation, but his passion for puzzles is contagious. Crosswords have been bankrolling media/publishing for longer than I realized.
What I Wrote
I started the year with my first reported (online) story for The New Yorker, which was very exciting for me. I got the assignment back in October, so they let me take my time with it. (The greatest luxury in media: time!) I learned so much in the process, and the editing experience was a real treat. Sex is good, but being fact-checked by The New Yorker might be better.
Emilia, what I appreciate here is how “repair” isn’t framed as optimization or self-improvement, but as attention. Not fixing the system, just staying in relationship with it, with work, with energy, with limits. That feels increasingly rare in creative cultures that mistake endurance for commitment.
those red photos by clemence poêles are sooo beautiful 🐞